
Upshore with my why’s and how’s
I now drop questions in the ocean,
asking waves of honesty
pray take this sand to open sea .
There is a desert
deep inside me,
thick and empty,
cactus-sharp —
a river trapped and wild underneath.
Let’s call this place anxiety
or search of purpose —
call it shame —
desires craved and lost,
then lost again…
a place I’ve measured time
by every failure :
every “wrong” emotion felt,
to every place I have found out
I wasn’t carrying a child .
And I think
maybe Limón is right
and maybe each of us are meant
to carry something different —
maybe it is more grief or love
than we know what to do with.
Under all this stagnant death
there still is living
hope and love to give :
a river running wildly.
And maybe if I stopped
all this comparing everything,
or all this endless laboring
at things not meant for me
to keep
I could let go —
could let the water
carry
me,
and I could be
enough .
This is obviously a very personal write for me. In this poem I am referring to the poet, Ada Limón, who writes so incredibly on her struggles with infertility in her collection, The Carrying.

Writing and photography by: Katy Claire Funke
Katy, thank you for sharing this transparent outpouring of your heart with us. Your words are witnessed, treasured and honoured as you walk this difficult road.
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Thank you so much 💜 That really means a lot to me. It has been a topic I have needed to write about, but the words didn’t come through to me until now.
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Katy this is just beyond beyond. Even without the footnote yes, it was obvious, the depth of it, the feeling involved, but also so very subtle, so very skillfully written, just an absolute wonder to behold and read. The italicizing and everything perfect also… a perfect perfect poem. I feel honoured to have been able to read it… this kind of work is a rare find. Hugs. xoxo “Lia”/Nadine
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Lia, I am honored by your very thoughtful comment. 💜 I am glad that the feeling and subtleties also came through to you in your reading. It is not the easiest subject for me to write on, so I really appreciate your feedback as a fellow poet.
I couldn’t ask for more lovely words. Thank you 💕
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❤️❤️❤️
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No words…are you searching for something
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This really hit me. I have no words. Very personal. Perfectly put. Sharing the feelings with you Katy. Much love to you.
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Thank you, Lorraine. Sending love to you as well 💗
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Thank you for sharing this beautiful, personal and heartfelt poem. True poetry always reaches a deeper level of truth, as you have here:
‘maybe it is more grief or love
than we know what to do with.’
I think sometimes it is – perfect words 🙏
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Thank you, Ingrid 💗 Your words mean a lot. Yes, I agree. Always trying to be open to that deeper truth. Hope you are well 💕
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Katy you’ve written beautiful words, precise words, perfectly crafted with your love. Lovely, quite lovely 😊
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Thank you so much, Francisco. I greatly appreciate your reading and encouragement 😊
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Always a pleasure Katy, all the best 🌹
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A delight!
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Thank you, Nick! 😊
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Katy this a beautiful expressive way to tell your story. I am truly sorry. Thank you for sharing with us about your struggles.
Your poem is so very beautifully crafted with emotional pain described with such depth. I will say a prayer for you. I am sending love, hugs and blessings. 🤗💕❤️Joni
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Thank you, Joni 💗 That really means a lot to me. I appreciate that. I do believe everything happens for a reason and what it meant to be will be.
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Totally agree my friend for I place myself in the Hand of God as does my dear husband. Love ya sweet Katy Joni 🤗💕❤️
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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🥰💗💕💗
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So beautiful… ❤️💐 Stay blessed
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Thank you so much, Diana 🥰 I appreciate your reading and comment.
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A strong piece! You are creativity itself!! This part grabbed me tight:
“a place I’ve measured time
by every failure :
every “wrong” emotion felt,
to every place I have found out
I wasn’t carrying a child .”
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Thank you, Benjamin 💜 What a very kind and thoughtful comment. Your words mean so much.
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Thank you for sharing. I’ve written poetry for years but only very recently started addressing my infertility in poetry. This is beautiful and so honest. Sending you lots of love 💜.
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Thank you so much 💗 That means a lot coming from someone who understands this struggle. I’m so sorry you know the realities of this, but very happy to connect with you💕 It is definitely a difficult subject to write on, but an important one. I hope to read any poetry you share!☺️ Much love to you as well!
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